Sunday, March 18, 2007

Thursday, January 18, 2007

El Patro's El Podcast



Well, I have made a huge decision. I am going to record a podcast. Yes, that's right. A podcast where you can here your favorite blogger... ON AUDIO!!! Well, anyway it's gonna be called... dun dunna dun dun... The Patrick Show! The show where I talk about anything and everything that may enter my head at any given time. I'm going to record it every Friday, and I'll also have a mailbag where I answer any questions my readers may send me. The mailbag email is elpatro@gmail.com. So, if you're interested check out the first episode hitting the airwaves tomorrow.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

New computer!

I just got a brand new Gateway GM5259E computer! I am incredibly excited to continue my video game career on it. World of Warcraft and Age of Empires III, here I come. Unfortunately I can't find a picture of it on the Internet, so here's a bland, pictureless post instead.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

iPod


Oh yeah. I got one for Christmas. I've already subscribed to Major Nelson's podcast and downloaded my entire CD collection onto it. It's awesome.
Happy New Year's Eve! This is my last post of the year, obviously so I'm trying to enjoy the last fleeting minutes of the year as much as I can.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Dani California

Well, merry Christmas to all. The reason I haven't been blogging lately is because I've been spending my winter vacation in Los Angeles. I'm soaking up the rays while my family and friends back in Chicago are frozen solid.
Unfortunately James Brown died Christmas day if you haven't heard. The next day fomer president Ford kicked the bucket too.
For Christmas I received a silver iPod nano, a Tenacious D CD, some DVDs, and a new Nike watch.
I also watched the entire OK Go treadmill music video on YouTube for the first time. I wonder how many times they had to rehearse that...
Later today I found a great blog called Wordsmith at War. It is the memoir of Captain Lee Kelley, formerly a soldier in Iraq who is now stationed in Utah.
I then fired up my Tivo for the American Idol season premiere.
Next I observed something interesting. Remember the guy from Limp Bizkit who always wore a hat? I don't even think his mother has ever seen his hair. I also realized the guitarist from that band scares the living whatever out of me. HE HAS BLACK EYES.
I wrote a poem for a national contest. It goes like this:
Rivers rush through time
And space. But why don't people
do things like that, too?
Adieu.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Well, if TIME magazine says so...


And the TIME magazine Person of the Year is... me. Yes, it's me. Not you. Me. Me, the guy who slaves away in his basement to give you quality entertainment. See, they even have a little mirror on the computer just to remind myself that I, El Patro, am the person who has contributed to mankind the most this year. I am a shining beacon of light to the world, and don't you forget it. Because I have TIME magazine to prove it. There it is, right in fron of your face.
I am the Person of the Year. Not you.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

New blog review, yes!



My blog just got reviewed by Heaven Nose. Here's what the Schnoz (left) and Goldilocks (right) had to say about me:

The Schnoz: Being a blog reviewing Superhero isn't just about having a good time and making fun of sad people. Along with the occasional cock push up, I also spend my time playing videogames and listening to music. The Schnoz was already playing videogames in a time that Pong was considered next gen. You ask why you had to wait so long for a new post? Well, here is your answer.
Could it be that someone who likes
Sonia Belle has the same great taste as the Schnoz? It seems unlikely, but hey, a coupla Superheroes reviewing blogs is pretty unbelievable too. So I present to you: El Patro, Sonia Belle reader and Schnoz-clone.
Somehow, I can't seem to admit that I like El Patro. Why should I? Just because he has entertaining game/movie reviews on his blog, I have to like the guy? Even Hitler was pretty nice, apart from his slayings of Jews, gypsies and homosexuals. Does that mean I have to like Hitler? Besides:
Sometimes it's cool to be mean to your readers, it shows you're above them.
Oh, to hell with it. I love El Patro. Nay, I luuv him. His blog is about VIDEO GAMES. Need I say more? Like I said in a previous post: we need less blogs about sex and more blogs about funny animals and video games. Even Hitler did some pretty neat stuff (the autobahns, reviving the economy, etc.). So dontcha go sending no Verfassungsschutz on my ass, people. I know, I know, the Holocaust was a terrible thing. But are we gonna be a glass is half empty or a glass is half full civilization?Since Goldilocks has no interest in my videogames, I am seriously considering teaming up with this El Patro instead. I could change my name to El Schnozerino...
Goldilocks: El Patro pestered and bribed us into writing this review ... El Patro is a man with a very tragic background (i.e. his mama was a prostituteand his dad was Dr. Evil) and he likes video games,sushi, the Simpsons, Family Guy, books, movies, journalism, Chinese food and even poetry. He's a pretty multi-faceted guy all around with just enough trace of nerdiness. Awesome!After reading his blog, the thought resounding in my blonde head was: "Hey, I'd tapthat."
Thanks, Heaven Nose! You guys are the real heroes!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Video game Wednesday

So, I just got Dead Rising. (screenshot above) It's pretty hard, but even the most inexperienced of players can take joy in clubbing the undead with park bench, a samurai sword, an umbrella, a shotgun, a shopping cart, a chair, dinner plates, gemstones, boomerangs, chainsaws, books, a novelty plastic lightsaber, novelty masks, teddy bears, cash registers, sledgehammers, scythes, potted plants, cars, bicycles... Oh, the screenshot is an outfit you can get, not the standard one. Cause that would be gay.

Speaking of video games, the Spike Video Game Awards are on at 10:00 eastern tonight. Tenacious D IS A MUSICAL GUEST!! ROCK ON!!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Are you on the list?


Anyone see Heroes the other night? Well, Peter died, Eden shot herself, Sylar escaped, Hiro has to fight a T-Rex, the Haitian is helping Claire, Zach got his mind wiped, D.L. got shot, Niki got arrested, Matt once again is trying to deal with that ugly FBI agent chick, Mohinder is back in Brooklyn, Isaac figured out he can paint the future without getting stoned, Micah broke his arm, and did I mention Peter died? Too bad they won't be showing episodes again until January 11, but I'm not complaining. Anyway, I'm actually kind of happy Peter died. I am so sick of him. What is his power, anyway? First he's like, "I think I can fly." And then he's like, "Oh, wait, I think I can paint the future like Isaac." And then he's like, "I think I can absorb the abilities of other Heroes." And now he's like, "I think I'm the bomb Isaac painted." So what the hell is he?
Also, I have a theory. I think Nathan is evil. Think about it.
1. He had an affair just half a year after his wife got crippled.
2. He is unable to even admit he can fly.
3. If you woke up one day and you can fly, wouldn't you do it as much as you can, secretly? Man has dreamed of flying for centuries, and this guy can't even admit to himself he can do it.
Oh, and I still think Claire's father is totally evil. And Sylar. Sylar is definitely evil.